OK - here's something to cheer about, taken from Smile of the Day (Beer Testing, February 8):
Yesterday, scientists for the USDA suggested that men should take a look at their beer consumption,considering the results of a recent analysis that revealed the presence of female hormones in beer.
The theory is that drinking beer makes men turn into women. To test the finding, 100 men were fed 8 pints of beer each. It was then observed that 100% of the men gained weight, talked excessively without making sense, became overly emotional, could not drive, failed to think rationally, argued over nothing, and refused to apologise when wrong.
No further testing is planned.